YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I grew up with a mother who had hurtful narcissistic traits. She may well have had undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder, we will never know.

As an adult, I began a healing journey to recover from the impact of the neglect, and trauma. Through my ongoing personal growth, I gained understanding and learned information that I wish I had learned earlier in my life. I want to share those lessons with you because having a mother with narcissistic traits makes it difficult to get the love, nurturing and acceptance we need. This negatively impacts our ability to develop a healthy sense of self and self-worth.

YOU ARE LOVABLE

As children, we learned to earn love by fulfilling our mother’s expectations and doing the things that pleased and appeased her. But it was usually never enough.

Now as adults, we may find ourselves continuing to do things that earn other people’s love, attention, or affection. We may judge ourselves harshly, struggle with making decisions, or dislike, ignore, or neglect ourselves. We may take unnecessary risks, become attracted to people who aren’t good for us, minimize ourselves so others can feel good, and put ourselves last, if at all. We may suffer from anxiety, poor health, or physical and mental illnesses or other trauma-related symptoms. And we may secretly fear being alone so much that when we find ourselves in one-sided, unfulfilling relationships it still feels impossible to leave.

YOU MATTER

If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. If there are feelings of manipulation, power struggle, never being good enough, or unkindness in your relationship with your mother, this book can help.

If you second-guess your memory, doubt your judgment or sanity, or continually seek your mother’s withheld love, affection, attention, or approval, this book can explain why.

There was never anything unloveable about you as a child. You deserved better.

Until now, you had TWO choices:

1. live on her terms, focusing on her, chasing after her withheld love, affection, and acceptance

2. go “no contact”

I suggest you have a THIRD option:

Decode the hurtful, and confusing behavior. Apply your new understanding of what’s really happening (hint: it’s about her, not you.) Learn and use your new tools and strategies to live your life on your own terms.

Start moving forward today!

Change how you interact

• remove drama from interactions
• set enforceable limits
• identify and shut down manipulation
• identify gaslighting
• recognize trauma symptoms
• strategize conversations to flow the way you want
• attain clarity with the end-of-chapter Action Steps, or use the Companion Workbook

In a world where everyone is beautifully different, it’s essential to know how to navigate the subtleties of harmless quirks, personal differences, and genuine red flags. Discover a fresh perspective on appreciating diversity and individuality while safeguarding your own well-being and maintaining healthy boundaries.

Understanding relationship red flags is like having a secret superpower that can help you navigate relationships. These little warning signs or behaviors sometimes pop up, waving their arms, saying, “Hey, pay attention! There might be trouble ahead!” Knowing what these signs look like can help you make more informed decisions about any relationship, whether it’s with family, friends, coworkers, or romantic partners.

Our well-being matters, and by understanding and recognizing relationship warning signs, you can protect yourself from the potential emotional, physical, or psychological harm that may arise. It’s like putting on a suit of armor, but instead of metal, it’s made of knowledge and self-awareness. These warning signs can help you steer clear of anyone who may be emotionally unavailable, abusive, or just plain incompatible with your principles. This awareness can protect you from frustration, dissatisfaction, and even mistreatment.