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LIFE ALTERING AFFIRMATIONS: Change Your Self-talk, Change YourSELF
Book #3 in the Lemon Moms Series
“AFFIRMATIONAL THERAPY MAY BE THE ONE EFFECTIVE HEALING TECHNIQUE YOU HAVEN’T TRIED YET!”
If you live with a narcissist, dysfunctional or toxic person, or have one in your life… you already know how much it negatively affects what you think, how you feel, and how you treat yourself. You can change that!
It’s time to take your healing a step further! Start healing the damage by changing how you see yourself. When you change your self-talk, you literally change your mindset and perspective! Start seeing how good life can look. Start living your best life!
Introducing book #3 in the Lemon Moms Series: Life-Altering Affirmations, Change Your Self-talk, Change YourSELF!
You can’t change others, but you can absolutely change yourself! When you go from unsupportive inner dialogue to affirming who you are as your authentic self, every day, you literally change your self-identity.
By using healing affirmations, you will begin to:
- reinforce a new self-narrative
- see yourself differently
- adopt a broader definition of your “identity”
- adopt a broader definition of your roles
- define things like “success” differently
This book shows you the research:
- explains how and why affirmations work
- teaches you, step-by-step, using a simple formula, how to write effective, action-oriented healing affirmations of your own.
You’ll also learn how to:
- apply the four daily fundamentals
- make your healing affirmations resonate highly
- use particular steps to make them the most powerful
- make them the most effective
Over 200 pre-written healing affirmations! Use them as-is, or personalize them using the steps and dedicated space provided in each chapter to make them your own.
Examines emotional regulation, self-validation, boundaries, self-trust, safety, security, and discovering your authentic self.
Aligns with topics discussed in book #1 Lemon Moms: A Guide to Understand and Survive Maternal Narcissism–
- gaslighting and confusion
- betrayal wounds
- emotional abandonment
- and cognitive dissonance.
What’s stopping you from taking the next steps on your healing journey?
Lemon Moms: A Guide to Understand and Survive Maternal Narcissism
Book #1 in the Lemon Moms Series
When our mothers are emotionally and/or physically detached, in other words, if they neglected us, were self-absorbed, weren’t interested in anything we had to say, or in our activities or friends, weren’t happy to see us, or didn’t hug, kiss, hold, sing or read to us often, we got the message that we weren’t important. We learned that we didn’t matter. If our mother parented by blaming, shaming, humiliating, intimidating, manipulating, mocking, using sarcasm, or gaslighting, then it’s likely that we often felt unacceptable. Now as adults, we feel “less than” or “not good enough”. We learned that everybody else’s needs, especially our mothers, were more important than ours. If you’re like me, you thought you were a burden.
Growing up in this kind of environment meant that we couldn’t express our feelings, or ask questions because mom wasn’t interested in them or it didn’t feel safe to share them.
The result was that we never experienced knowing what it’s like to have our thoughts and feelings validated. When we’re not validated we tend to have thoughts of worthlessness, that we don’t matter or aren’t important. We start thinking, feeling and believing that we aren’t good enough and that others are more important than we are. This is important to note because when our feelings become connected with our thoughts, a belief is created. Without intervention, we carry that belief with us into adulthood. (“A belief is a thought that we are emotionally attached to.”–Magnus Dell)
If we believe that we’re fundamentally flawed or undeserving of being treated well, or of being loved, we willingly become a dumping ground for other’s emotional garbage.
Even though we don’t like it, we believe we deserve nothing better than this kind of treatment.We haven’t seen healthy boundaries modeled for us, so we don’t know there’s a way to protect ourselves. We unconsciously broadcast the message that we exist to be of service to others and that it doesn’t matter how they treat us. We accept disrespect, unfair or unkind treatment, and even physical, verbal, and emotional abuse.
The Lemon Moms Companion Workbook
Book #2 in the Lemon Moms Series
Are you confused or hurt by your mother’s behavior? Is your relationship with her less than satisfying or even painful? Are you afraid of or intimidated by her? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you can discover how to heal and take back your personal power.
The “Lemon Moms Companion Workbook,” is your safe space for healing.
Your mother doesn’t need a diagnosis to determine that your relationship with her is unhealthy. If you like detailed writing, personal examples, and a touch of humor, you’ll love the author’s authenticity and conversational style.
Combined with the book “Lemon Moms: A Guide to Understand and Survive Maternal Narcissism,” you’ll walk through the chaos and confusion of maternal narcissism: what it is, what it does, and how to recover from its devastating effects. Use a journal, notebook or digital notepad to explore thought-provoking questions. Take action-oriented steps to help gain insight and perspective for beginning, or continuing in, your healing journey. Heal the damage and move forward to live your best life!
“Healing” is not the deletion of the pain or the memories. Healing doesn’t erase what happened, and it certainly doesn’t wipe away the memories or the hurt, or your feelings or thoughts about your childhood experiences or of your mother. Healing isn’t about forgetting.
Healing is about reframing your painful and traumatic experiences so that they add depth and meaning to your personal story. If you were able to erase those experiences, you would also erase a huge opportunity for personal growth and development.
In the process of healing, we take painful memories and experiences and create a whole new understanding around them.
Healing means that when we’ve come out on the other side, we have a scar that’s a permanent reminder of what we’ve survived, and it will be a part of us always. Scars don’t hurt, and after a while, we hardly remember it’s there. It’s simply another aspect of our personal story.
Without that story or that experience, we wouldn’t be who we are today.
Recuperating from abuse requires us to be willing to become new and better versions of ourselves. Being able to forgive our mothers is an important part of this process, but so is cultivating the ability to forgive ourselves. Why? Because we may have unknowingly, or knowingly, hurt others as a result of our own unhealed or unacknowledged childhood wounds.
Healing gives us back the capacity to trust ourselves We begin to trust our judgment and to be able to make healthy and meaningful decisions. We begin to trust others. We become better human beings.
When we self-avoid the healing process, our emotional triggers often become more sensitive. When we’re easily triggered we end up putting even more emotional energy into self-avoidance just to keep from getting triggered. It becomes a cycle of hiding from our pain any time pain is felt. Eventually, we might need the help of substances or activities to keep from feeling this pain; alcohol, drugs, food, sex, shopping, gambling, etc. Pretty much anything can serve as a distraction to avoid pain. The result is that nothing gets healed and the pain and the emotional triggers continue to grow.
- On beliefs: Remember that beliefs are thoughts that have emotions attached to them. Eliminating inaccurate beliefs is a primary key to healing. Pick one of your childhood beliefs to examine. What thoughts and feelings are still connected to it? For example: “I won’t ever be successful.” List the feelings and thoughts that come up and write about them at length. Are they still relevant to your life today? Why or why not? Explain.
- On codependency: Do you like to “help” and “fix” other people or their problems? Give recent examples of ways that you’ve helped others or tried to fix them or their problems. Did they ask for this help? Did you jump in and get involved because you knew what to do? Did they accept your help? How did they respond? How did this make you feel? What did you think about the outcome? What have you learned? Write about how you felt in this scenario and what you can do differently next time.