Heal the Hurts
Healing Begins with Awareness, Understanding, and Action
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
I grew up with a mother who had hurtful narcissistic traits. She may well have had undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder, we will never know.
As an adult, I began a healing journey to recover from the impact of the neglect, and trauma. Through my ongoing personal growth, I gained understanding and learned information that I wish I had learned earlier in my life. I want to share those lessons with you because having a mother with narcissistic traits makes it difficult to get the love, nurturing and acceptance we need. This negatively impacts our ability to develop a healthy sense of self and self-worth.
YOU ARE LOVABLE
As children, we learned to earn love by fulfilling our mother’s expectations and doing the things that pleased and appeased her. But it was usually never enough.
Now as adults, we may find ourselves continuing to do things that earn other people’s love, attention, or affection. We may judge ourselves harshly, struggle with making decisions, or dislike, ignore, or neglect ourselves. We may take unnecessary risks, become attracted to people who aren’t good for us, minimize ourselves so others can feel good, and put ourselves last, if at all. We may suffer from anxiety, poor health, or physical and mental illnesses or other trauma-related symptoms. And we may secretly fear being alone so much that when we find ourselves in one-sided, unfulfilling relationships it still feels impossible to leave.
If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. If there are feelings of manipulation, power struggle, never being good enough, or unkindness in your relationship with your mother, this book can help.
If you second-guess your memory, doubt your judgment or sanity, or continually seek your mother’s withheld love, affection, attention, or approval, this book can explain why.
There was never anything unloveable about you as a child. You deserved better.
You’re not able to change your mother, but you can gain insight and learn skills to enhance your own life!
Until now, you had TWO choices:
1. live on her terms, focusing on her, chasing after her withheld love, affection, and acceptance
2. go “no contact”
I suggest you have a THIRD option:
Decode the hurtful, and confusing behavior. Apply your new understanding of what’s really happening (hint: it’s about her, not you.) Learn and use your new tools and strategies to live your life on your own terms.
Start moving forward today!
Change how you interact
- remove drama from interactions
- set enforceable limits
- identify and shut down manipulation
- identify gaslighting
- recognize trauma symptoms
- strategize conversations to flow the way you want
- attain clarity with the end-of-chapter Action Steps, or use the Companion Workbook
Red Flags: Icks, Personality Quirks, or Warning Signs? How to Know the Difference.
A Crash Course in Relationship Self Defense!
In a world where everyone is beautifully different, it’s essential to know how to navigate the subtleties of harmless quirks, personal differences, and genuine red flags. Discover a fresh perspective on appreciating diversity and individuality while safeguarding your own well-being and maintaining healthy boundaries.
Understanding relationship red flags is like having a secret superpower that can help you navigate relationships. These little warning signs or behaviors sometimes pop up, waving their arms, saying, “Hey, pay attention! There might be trouble ahead!” Knowing what these signs look like can help you make more informed decisions about any relationship, whether it’s with family, friends, coworkers, or romantic partners.
Our well-being matters, and by understanding and recognizing relationship warning signs, you can protect yourself from the potential emotional, physical, or psychological harm that may arise. It’s like putting on a suit of armor, but instead of metal, it’s made of knowledge and self-awareness. These warning signs can help you steer clear of anyone who may be emotionally unavailable, abusive, or just plain incompatible with your principles. This awareness can protect you from frustration, dissatisfaction, and even mistreatment.
RECOGNIZE * PROTECT * RECOVER
*Use code redflags2off for $2.00 off on author’s site. Refunds are not made retroactively.
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What Readers Are Saying About Lemon Moms…
A brilliantly written book that addresses a unique trauma. It provided the psychological antidote I wanted. Diane Metcalf writes with confidence and clarity. Her compassionate voice will be a soothing balm for many broken and hurting hearts.
It is almost impossible to find words to describe my reading experience of ‘Lemon Moms.’ At times it triggered emotional responses- I personally relate, having grown up with a narcissistic family member. The author has a brilliant gift to share and I’m especially struck with the grace she shows. All I can say is: “Thank You & WOW.”
Judy PalingBest Selling Author
While the title of this book playfully refers to “lemon moms,” a play-off on lemon or defective vehicles, this is serious information. Metcalf treats the reader as an intelligent friend, guiding them through experiences that as a child the reader may have been taught to believe were normal.
Victoria IrwinEditor in Chief, FangirlNation.com
Lemon Moms: A Guide to Understand and Survive Maternal Narcissism is one of the best books I have read on this sensitive topic of maternal narcissism.
Anita OommenAward-Winning Author
This book is terrific. I recommend it to all my patients who are working through these kinds of issues.
Bernard B.Kahan, M.D.Adolescent and Adult Psychiatry
I have, in the past, explained my parenting by sadly saying that my children had been raised by someone with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, me. So this book was an eye-opener for me. This book outlines the effects of having lemon parents. I am enjoying doing the post-chapter action steps to get a handle on this for myself. Thank you, Diane, for this book. Its effects will be far-reaching. K
Kathleen IsraelAmazon Verified Purchase
This was an excellent resource on my road to recovery from complex PTSD (childhood trauma). Diane is a great writer and “dumbed down” all the psychological terms to make them easier to understand. I read this book in less than a week. I couldn’t put it down. I highly recommend this to others if you think you could have been raised by a narcissistic mother.
Jo DAmazon Verified Purchase
My sister and I have dealt with narcissistic, verbal, physical abuse and just a complete genuine lack of maternal love via our own mother our entire lives. This book helps you realize that you are not alone and that there are ways to begin the healing process-no matter what stage of life.
Strongly recommend. I ordered a copy for my sis as well.
ScibiAmazon Verified Purchase
Very well written, has given me insight and learning and helped me overcome some of my traumas, has been helpful in my journey to health and wellness. I would like to add that within minutes of starting this book, everything clicked into place. Reading this has opened so many doors and unblocked so many areas, of confusion; I have no words to describe my joy in finding this tool for LIFE. Be Blessed.